In the world of enterprise tech, you don’t always get a second chance to make a first impression. Whether you're talking to a prospect, a partner, or even your CEO, how you explain what your company does in the first 60 seconds can make all the difference.
That’s why a strong elevator pitch isn’t just a “nice to have” — it’s a must.
In this article, we’ll show you how to build a clear and compelling elevator pitch. Even better, we’ll break down a real pitch from our COO Hans Otharsson, highlighting what’s working and what could be stronger. You’ll leave with a proven framework, real-world examples, and links to helpful resources.
The Challenge
Using CloudFrame as an example, let’s start by taking a look at what we do and see if we can turn that into a pitch. ClousFrame helps modernize legacy COBOL applications by transforming them into maintainable, performant Java — without the need for a complete rewrite. Our platform enables companies to reduce mainframe costs, modernize incrementally, and future-proof their systems, all while minimizing risk.
The challenge? That message can easily get bogged down in technical jargon. A great elevator pitch must translate this powerful capability into something instantly understandable — even for someone without a technical background.
What Makes a Great Elevator Pitch?
A winning elevator pitch should be:
· Short (30–60 seconds max)
· Clear (no jargon unless the audience is technical)
· Conversational (sounded good in your head? Now say it out loud.)
· Focused on value (not just features)
Here’s the basic structure:
1. Problem: What issue is your audience facing?
2. Solution: How does CloudFrame solve it?
3. Differentiator: Why is our solution better or different?
4. Outcome: What result does the customer get?
🎥 Watch: Hans’s Elevator Pitch
(Embed or link the video here)
This is a real
elevator pitch by Hans. Watch it once, then we’ll break it down step by step.
Breaking Down the Pitch: What Works, What Doesn’t
Let’s look at a few key excerpts from Hans’s pitch:
“We built the CloudFrame
Modernization Suite to do one thing really well: help enterprises escape their
COBOL prisons without blowing up their business or their budget.”
What
Works: Vivid metaphor (“COBOL prisons”) and clear promise of
business value (cost and risk reduction). Strong mission statement.
What to Watch:
Slightly informal — “COBOL prisons” is effective, but might alienate
ultra-conservative audiences. Know your crowd.
“Our suite combines ATLAS, which
extracts and explains your legacy logic in human terms, with CodeNavigator,
which converts that logic into enterprise-grade Java with functional
equivalence, auditability, and zero hand-waving.”
What Works: Good use of product names
with short, clear descriptors. “Human terms” and “zero hand-waving” make it
feel real and credible.
What to Watch: The second half gets dense — “functional equivalence, auditability” are important, but may overwhelm in a spoken pitch. Could be split or simplified in delivery.
“Unlike lift-and-shift vendors who
sell you a prettier box for the same problem—or AI tools that generate
hallucinated spaghetti—we deliver deterministic transformation, AI
augmentation, and predictable outcomes.”
What Works: Sharp contrast with
competitors. Great phrasing (“hallucinated spaghetti” is memorable).
What to Watch: Jargon alert —
“deterministic transformation” and “AI augmentation” could use simpler
alternatives, depending on audience. But they do convey technical
precision.
“In short: CloudFrame helps you
modernize with purpose, not just panic.”
What Works: Excellent closing.
Memorable, emotionally resonant, and ties the whole story together.
Pro Tip: Consider leading with this
line in high-pressure settings — it’s that strong.
Summary of Strengths:
· Confident and human tone
· Clear problem/solution framing
· Strong brand voice and memorable language
· Differentiates CloudFrame from both traditional and AI-based competitors
· Balanced appeal to both technical and business audiences
Where to Refine:
· Watch for dense technical phrases in the middle (may need simplification for execs)
· Consider softening metaphor-heavy language (“COBOL prisons,” “hallucinated spaghetti”) depending on audience
· Segment longer ideas into shorter, more digestible parts for oral delivery
How to Craft Your Own Elevator Pitch
Use this template as a starting point:
“You know how [problem]? Well, [company] helps [audience] by [solution]. Unlike [alternative], we [differentiator], so you can [outcome].”
Example:
“You know how companies still rely on COBOL systems that are expensive to run and hard to update? CloudFrame helps them transform those COBOL applications into maintainable Java — automatically and incrementally. Unlike a full rewrite, we preserve logic and minimize risk, so they can modernize confidently and cut mainframe costs.”
Pro Tips:
· Tailor it: tweak the pitch for technical vs. business audiences.
· Practice aloud: if it feels clunky to say, it needs editing.
· Record yourself: listen for energy, clarity, and pacing.
Useful Resources
· Harvard Business Review: How to Craft an Elevator Pitch
· Better Explained: Communication Frameworks
Final Thoughts
CloudFrame is solving a critical, time-sensitive problem — but if people don’t understand it quickly, they won’t engage. That’s where your elevator pitch comes in. Whether you're in a hallway, a Zoom call, or a conference, having a sharp, clear pitch could be the difference between a pass and a follow-up meeting.
Use the breakdown above. Build your own version. And keep refining.
Got a version you’d like feedback on? Drop it in the comments or send it to the team — we’d love to help sharpen it.